Finding your way in the dark
Updated: Sep 26, 2018
Founder of The Mindful Moment, Dr. Alexandra Domelle shares how slowing down can help us heal, forgive and find the answers we are seeking
"When we listen to our soul and heed its wisdom, we allow love to grow." - Alexandra Domelle
There is always a way, even if we cannot see it.
There is always a way, even if we cannot feel it.
There is always a way, even if we cannot find it.
During times of trouble, chaos and strife, we feel the urge to find quick-fix solutions to ease our suffering. Decisions are made hastily. Actions are taken swiftly. The pace is rapid, unrelenting until we have achieved an outcome.
Yet it is in these very moments, when drama, noise and chaos swirl within and around us that we need to slow down. Quelling the urgency robs it of its momentum, of the rush to achieve a swift resolution, of making decisions that we come to later regret.
The need to find an outcome, to take action, to do something is rooted in the belief that this will free us from immediate suffering. We already imagine the outcome and in doing so, project ourselves into the future.
The present moment is deliberately forgotten for who wants to dwell in that which is uncomfortable? Yet it is by slowing down, by staying in these moments of discomfort that we can find a way through that, which trouble us.
Think of all the fights you have had in your life.
Have there been a thousand fights or simply one fight repeated a thousand times?
By slowing down, by paying attention to the disquiet, by disrupting the conditioned responses we are so used to giving, we can finally begin to see the way out is actually to go through what we are experiencing.
The decisions we make, the actions we take, these are not the endings we believe them to be, rather, opportunities to open ourselves to questions that help us begin to understand who we are at our core.
Yes, this opens us up to vulnerability. Yes, this opens us up to rawness. Yes, this opens us up to pain.
And in this moment we sit, allowing these feelings to surface. We open ourselves to let go of past wounds gently. We let go of the strings that bind us, to re-enacting the same scenarios, the same actions, the same responses over and over again.
We let go of the defenses we have built, the barriers we have put up, the masks we have occupied all this time. All resistance flows away through our breaths, heartbeats and tears.
There is no rush for there is only now.
We let go of outcomes, expectations and conditions. As we acknowledge these parts of ourselves that have long been hidden away, we know that there is no need for words. There is no need to dwell on thoughts. There is no need to bring up the past or fear the future.
As our heart and stance soften, we allow ourselves to grieve. This too is a form of letting go.
Forgiveness whispers in our ears, knocking at the door to our heart.
This forgiveness is not just of others, but also of ourselves.
All it takes is one moment of realising that the past cannot be undone and our fears can take a small situation and blow it out of proportion. The answers that come — and they do come, sometimes immediately, sometimes after a little while — feel authentic. They are our inner truth, wrapped in love, kindness and compassion.
These answers show us the way forward. And again, before we rush off into action, into doing, into mindlessly forging ahead, if we pause for a moment holding that solution without fear, judgement or attachment, we suddenly realise that the answer is the way. This clarity aligns us with our truth and our true self.
Allow this softening, this healing, this ease of being to be your guiding light in times of strife, heartache and darkness.
Name the fears that drive you to reach for quick-fix solutions.
What is it that you are running away from?
What is so uncomfortable that you are choosing to react with such urgency rather than respond with deliberate and considered pause?
Breathe. Pause. Allow.
There is only Now.